As I started to earn my own food, I started believing more in Air Travel. A part of me makes me think that many did the same. The joy of reaching a place within hours and spending a similar amount of time in trying to make it to the airport is overwhelming. There is much more to air travel than just the travel. Shrouded pretence and implying the posh-ness in a rather amateurish way are inseparable from check-in and boarding.
However, with all this, I have started missing the good ol’ railways even more. Railways are the lifeline of thousands of travellers in India. Local trains are a significant part of the daily commute to work and express trains are the machine level embodiment of irony. There is so much to trains and especially, Indian Railways. The entire system has always been close to my heart, for several reasons. Few of which, are presented below.
Just daawgs.. Posh-ness out of the door, right away!
I am yet to find an alternative for Indian Railways in terms of a life teacher. They make you assess Nietzsche’s philosophy “Time is a flat circle” in a rather convincing manner. There is no sophisticated wordplay here, rather the shrieky voice that announces “2 ghante late hai”. There is a subtle undertone saying, ghanta ukhaad loge! But, you still feel it is worth the wait. You ask yourself “Will you do it again if it happens again, frame by frame”. The noise, the stink and the people around you, all make you shout out yes. Right when you feel you found the answer, the familiar announcing voice calls you over again. The question left as it is! This is the real Indian thing, my friend; not the soft, smooth, silk-laden voice you hear when you are up-in-the-air. (Notice that “shrieky” is a word that hasn’t been used since a century, perhaps. It resonates with the voice of the lady, which hasn’t changed since around the same time).
East Coast Railway Imparting Wisdom
Sometimes, just sometimes, our railways impart wisdom in it’s truest bluest form – By Fucking You Over. Want AC compartment? Bribe the TC, bribe the caretaker, bribe everyone you see! Bribe your way into comfort and scream, everything is fair in love and war, for absolutely no reason. The philosophical nuances of our railways are unmatched.
Our East Coast Railway is one-of-its-kind. Majorly, because, Geography! (Excuse the bad joke **Grins**). Once upon a time, they played a Porn Clip in the Bhubaneswar station. Because, why not! See, rules meant to be broken. There is always an envelope that has to be pushed out. Those who don’t realise, this was our first step towards sexual liberation. Not just liberation of sorts, but it was one of the finest customer services the world has ever witnessed. They saw customers stressed out due to the delay, and did what any sane person would have done – play a porn clip. Though personally, I hated it. I mean, the video quality wasn’t that good. Plus, why play a heterosexual sex-tape? It leaves other genders in a state of despair, gasping for good things to come. That was unfair, but hey, first steps. As baby steps towards a better society, it was great.
Even Google knows what you should look out for
There is nothing in conclusion. Stop looking for a conclusion everywhere. Look deep in your hearts, you will find the answer. You will find the hidden love for Indian Railways. You will find stories embedded into the darkest corners of your memories. But, you will get them surely. Plus, you can also look out for the sex-tape incident in Bhubaneswar Railway Station. It was quite a rage!
Share this with 5 friends to remember the good old shitty times. And, even for the sake of new porn source. **Winks**
Illuminated Amateur 
he he he yes we love our Indian railway.
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