Mera Beta Villain Banega

I always wanted to be a villain. The ones with a body that would make Rikishi look better, and intimidating looks. Growing up, I had a fascination with Amrish Puri-esque dialogue narration and didn’t find anything wrong with the antagonist’s intentions. Several Bollywood movies and TV serials later (Yeah, as a kid, I had nothing better to do), I realised that was a true calling.

See, they had all the luxuries one can ever have, pretty chicks in swimsuits (even Archana Puran Singh tried once), loads of alcohol and a big-ass bungalow to top it all. Most of the time, the protagonist was just plain jealous but didn’t show it until a woman came into the scene. In Agneepath (Mr Bachhan), Archana even tried to woo Vijay with her swim-suity sultry looks, but to no vain. Those were times of no women empowerment and, honestly, Vijay was pretty biased. He ignored the fumes of the swimsuit beauty, who performed an item dance too, for……… A Nurse. I mean, fine! She took good care of you and was not prejudiced; even consoled your mother, but still, why the heck! You could have got all that Maal without even trying and you decide to climb up to the moral high ground.

Hot girl drinking pics

For a nurse!! FML

The side-chicks of an antagonist get even more ignored than the sidekicks.

Not just the luxuries, villains also had the audacity to go with it. That was the real thing, my friend, denying the very existence of rules and re-creating them to suit your style. Today, they say, make your own rules and even cheeky lines like “Small milaate jaao large banaate jaao”. The protagonists of the likes of Mogambo or even Shakal did just that and what did they get? Death at the hands of an incompetent asshole! We even managed to make Danny Denzogpa an antagonist. That man can still give Johnny boy a good run for money when it comes to sharp looks. Heck, he made cowboys with cancer a thing in Indian movies (China Gate). Style, personality, charisma, loads of money and women. These were the things of villains. What can make you hate them? They were so larger than life.

Goli khaaega!

Intimidating AF

Today, when I look at myself in the mirror, with all the vices I took up and patchy beard across my face, I realise I have come a long way only to become the drug peddler who gets beaten up by both the protagonist and antagonist. Yeah, this is the place where they have a common opinion. BC, drugs wala, maaro saale ko. However, I look forward to being the shady one in the group who gets all the money and women. I wish to do all that by playing cheap tricks and clumsy manipulations. But, the reality just dawned upon me and I need to get back to work. But, when time comes, I will scream at the top of my voice “Mera beta engineer villain banega”. I want him to have all the pleasures of life, truly. I will be glad, if someone notices the not-so-subtle sexism here.

**Hee hoo haa haa continues in mind**

I know you didn’t come here for this, but I am not even sorry for it. *Winks Winks*

Archana Image Source: Youtube Screengrab
Gabbar Image Source:

Featured Image Souce: Pinterest


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